Not every groom will be Craig Powell. I have counseled a number of couples intentionally and unintentionally throughout the wedding process. The most popular quote I've heard from most grooms is, "Yea, I don't really care about all those details..." As a wedding officiant, I play a supportive role to both the bride and groom. Whether the couple has been planning for a long time or a short while, the intensity of the wedding process always reveals new sides to everyone involved.
Craig Powell is my one and only groom, thus far, who was been heavily involved in the intricacies of planning his wedding. In fact, he planned the wedding. Everything was cleared and confirmed with Craig prior to it being a "go!" Except for Sharminique's dress, of course. However, she did make a special video of the dress process which was later revealed on IG. Super cute! Boy, would I give some money for the play by play commentary in Craig's head as he watched the video! Craig and Sharminique are a very particular couple. They enjoyed seeing their vision come to fruition and they worked hard! But looking back over 2017, I ask, "What matters the most to the groom?"
There are no simple answers but based on my experience of "The Groom" over the past year it has been these top 3 things:
1. The Food
Many grooms have sat across from me and expressed that they are only focused on showing up, being in love and having a great time with their friends in celebrating their love for their bride. For many, food is a huge part of their social culture. The groom can become rather particular about what kind of food will be served during the cocktail hour. Actually, enjoying the wedding day can be paramount to a successful wedding day for most grooms. One of the unique things I have seen at certain venues is that they serve a special meal to the bride and groom in a private room during the cocktail hour. Therefore, the couple is wed, then they are off to take their pictures and then they are taken for a private meal prior to the reception. This way, if they don't get to eat much during the reception they would have gotten a chance to enjoy the food prior to the social hour.
2. The Music
Part of having a good time includes the time spent on the dance floor. This is THE party of a lifetime and who wouldn't want a hand in picking the soundtrack to go with it?! This is when blending becomes paramount. The two becoming one finds itself showcased when it comes to the soundtrack of your special day. He will want the music that reminds him of "home" and the bride will want music that will often times remind her of her fairytale. There was one couple where the groom was from a small town and grew up on country music and so when it came to music selection he wanted to make sure that he could party like he was back home. At the same time, the bride was from the Caribbean and wanted the reception to have a more Carnival feel. At the end of the day, as long as him and his boys could get down to some country music, he was all good. Give the man COUNTRY!
3. Their TRIBE
Of course the groom wants to invite all the people who mean the most to him, but most of all- DON'T MESS WITH A GUY'S MAMA... Whether the groom's mother is present or she has passed away, it is imperative that at this special time in his life she is honored in whatever way he desires. Did you not hear what Prince Harry said to Meghan about the ring on her finger when the reported asked him to talk about the ring (sip tea)!
So brides, when you start planning your wedding take a moment and ask, "Bae, what part of the planning means the most to you?" Or, find a planner that appreciates this philosophy. Besides, planning a wedding is the first opportunity to practice compromise ;) Don't assume he wants to be a part of everything...
Following on IG, FB & Twitter | @roxannedotcom
YouTube | MARRIED by REV ROXY
Wedding Services | (347) 554-7080