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HEAVY LACE | 4 Tips to Talk Counseling

Often times the experts are trying to advise you on what you ought to do. But rarely is this met with the road map of how to get there. I consult with a variety of brides and grooms -to-be who personally desire and are eager to go through pre-marital and marital counseling with their significant other. However, they lack the ability and skills to initiate the conversation. Let's get started with 4 tips on how to discuss counseling with your love.

ONE. Be very mindful to not begin the conversation with blaming or yelling. If you are already in a disagreement, that is not the time to bring it up for the first time. You do not want to associate counseling with negative circumstances.

TWO. Clearly describe your goals for the counseling experience and open the floor for your significant other to articulate what he or she would like to accomplish as well. This lays the foundation for communication prior to beginning the counseling process and it allows both of you to have a voice and hand in the decision to attend. The both of you should begin this process, ideally, with have an open mind and heart towards the journey. It should not be a chore or forced. If so, you may be wasting your time and money.

THREE. Do the work ahead of time. Your boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé or spouse may very well be open to counseling but that doesn't mean they want to do the work of finding the counselor. You know them better than anyone else. Do your research before hand and know exactly what counselor you would be

interested in seeing or present a few options to choose from. Be smart. I remember when I desired to buy a home outside of New York City. I did all the research about what it would cost to buy a brand new home in my desired city and did a cost comparison beforehand. I then did an actual presentation for my husband and next thing I knew we had a realtor. We were on our way to visit a few options. In the end we bought a home. It was not brand new but it was perfect and suitable for the both of us. You will never know until you give it a solid effort. Close mouths don't get fed!

FOUR. Be brief. Save the meat and potatoes of the dialogue for actually being in counseling with guidance. Get right to the point and allow your significant other to express their goals. Then, set a date and time. For many, setting an actual appointment is the hardest part. With so many competing priorities it maybe the biggest hurdle and hump between you + your love and getting to counseling. Booking and getting it on the calendar makes it reality. Talking in circles with no solid plan to take action is not helpful.

For a variety of opportunities to take part in 1-on-1 virtual counseling or to attend a couple's counseling retreat or seminar with Rev. Roxy and Rev. Joshua visit: www.marriedbyrevroxy/booking

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